Mentor Training Checklist

Read this before your first session

Ten minutes. It is not a course.

If you have mentored before and it went well, skim the four failure modes and stop there.

1. What you are actually being asked to do

You are not being asked to have the answers. You are being asked to ask better questions than the person can currently ask themselves, and to be honest in ways their manager structurally cannot be.

The difference matters. Your mentee's manager owns their output and has a stake in their current role. You own nothing and have no stake. That is not a weakness of the arrangement, it is the entire value of it. Behave like a skip-level manager and you will get skip-level answers, which is to say careful ones.

The commitment: [CADENCE], [LENGTH] per session, until [END DATE]. That is all. If you want to continue past the end date, that is a separate decision you get to make freely.

2. The four failure modes

Failure mode 1: You talk too much

The most common. It feels productive, and it is not.

The test: if you are speaking for more than about a third of the session, you have turned mentoring into advice, and advice is the least durable thing you can give. Advice solves this week's problem. A question the mentee can ask themselves solves the next ten.

Fix: count to three after they stop talking, before you respond. Most of the useful material arrives in that gap.

Failure mode 2: You solve the presented problem

The problem someone brings is rarely the problem they have. "How do I get better at presenting" is often "I do not think senior people take me seriously". Solving the first leaves the second untouched.

Fix: before offering anything, ask "what makes that the thing you want to work on?" at least once.

Failure mode 3: Scheduling drifts

Two cancelled sessions in a row and most pairs quietly stop. Nobody decides to end it, it just ends.

Fix: you agreed in the mentoring agreement who owns scheduling. If it is drifting, say so in plain terms rather than waiting for it to correct itself. "We have missed two. Do we want to keep doing this?" is a fair question and not a rude one.

Failure mode 4: You stay too long out of politeness

Some pairings run their course in three months. Continuing out of mutual politeness wastes both people's time and, worse, teaches the mentee that a professional relationship is something you endure.

Fix: the agreement says either party can end it, for any reason, without explanation. You go first if you see it. It is easier from your side.

3. Questions that work

Keep these somewhere you can see during a session.

Opening:

• "What is on your mind this week?"
• "What did you do about the thing we talked about last time?"

Going deeper:

• "What makes that the thing you want to work on?"
• "What have you already tried?"
• "What would have to be true for that to work?"
• "Who else has this problem here, and what did they do?"

When they are stuck:

• "What would you tell someone else in this position?"
• "What is the version of this that you are avoiding saying out loud?"

Closing:

• "What is one thing you will do before we next talk?"
• "What is one thing you want me to do?"

Answer the last one honestly and then actually do it. A mentor who takes no action between sessions teaches the mentee that the relationship exists only inside the hour.

4. What to share about yourself

Share failures, specifically and in detail. Share successes only when someone asks.

A mentor who spends the first session on their highlight reel has set the relationship up as a performance, and the mentee will perform back. A mentor who opens with a specific thing they got badly wrong at a similar stage has made the next six months honest.

Be concrete. "I did not handle that well" gives them nothing. "I avoided a conversation with my manager for four months because I assumed I knew what the answer would be, and when I finally had it the answer was different" gives them something to work with.

5. Boundaries

In scope: career direction, skill development, navigating the organisation, preparing for a specific conversation.

Out of scope: performance management, compensation, anything that feeds into their review, and advocacy in a promotion process unless separately agreed. Advocacy is the one mentees most often assume is included. Settle it explicitly in the agreement.

Confidentiality: everything stays between you, except safeguarding or policy issues, which you escalate to [NAMED ROLE] and which you tell the mentee you are escalating at the time. Never after.

If they raise something you are not equipped for (mental health, a grievance, a legal matter): you do not have to have an answer. Say you are not the right person for that specific thing, and point them at [EAP / HR CONTACT / NAMED RESOURCE]. That is a good mentoring response, not a failure of one.

6. Checklist before session one

• Read the mentee's application answers, particularly their goal and their stated obstacle
• Come with one question about each. Do not come with a plan
• Have the first meeting agenda open
• Have the mentoring agreement open, to fill in together during the session
• Prepare one specific thing you got wrong early in your career
• Block 60 minutes, not 30
• Book session two before session one ends

7. Where to get help

Your program manager is [NAME], reachable at [CONTACT].

Tell them if: the pairing is not working, the mentee has not responded in three weeks, something has been raised that is above your pay grade, or you need to step back. All four are normal. None of them reflect badly on you, and all of them are far cheaper to raise in month one than in month five.